One thing that I learned last year was that for me…my tribe isn’t local. That’s not to say that I don’t desire friends in the same state that I reside because I DO but until then, my tribe is allllll over the place. I am so very grateful for the friendships that I have with my girlies. I love how we love each other. Pray for each other, keep each other accountable and because I recently realized that gifts is my love language. So in other words, buy me shit. It makes me happy. I love checking the mail and seeing that someone thought of me. I’ve been the giver in the majority of my friendships/relationships so it’s a relief to be loved on. I said all of that to say that my girlfriend texted me and said, “Check the mail, I think you need to read this.”
And bam.
There was a package from Amazon. Inside the mailer was a thick book with a bright yellow cover that read Single On Purpose.
I took a picture, thanked her and then placed it on my bookshelf (like I do with every book that I bought)
I’m convinced that I’m just addicted to buying books because I haven’t read the majority of the books that I buy but one of my goals prior to moving to a new city was to start back reading. It didn’t take me long to say, ‘Let me read the synopsis’ and the rest is history.
This passport stamp is an honest review of what I gathered from reading Single On Purpose. I intend to review more books and if there’s one that you think I should check out, please feel free to share it with me or send it lol!
It took me a few weeks to read Single On Purpose but that’s because I read it when I had time. However, when I did dive in – I got something out of it.
Upon reading the book, I was involved in a ‘situationship’ we’ll call it that for now.
Update after reading the book: I’m single single and loving it.
One thing that I appreciated was that the author isn’t trying to convince you to cut everyone off and go cold turkey. What I believe he knew would happen was that you would want to do that anyway.
The more I read, the more I understood my own life.
The more I read, the more things became aware in my eyes about what I wanted and what I was attracting.
The more I read, the more I understood that I didn’t need closure. It was pointless.
This book changed the dynamic of my relationships.
With family.
Friends.
These f-boys and most importantly, myself.
I feel like I can date from a healthier place after reading Single On Purpose. I know what I want and don’t want. This book was such an eye-opener for me. I’ve always struggled with incorporating boundaries in my relationships which used to really annoy me because I’m so freakin’ vocal about everything else but that’s changed too.
If I don’t want to date someone with children then guess what? I ain’t doing it.
Make your non-negotiables and stick to it. They’re also personal. I don’t feel the need to share what I will/won’t settle on.
The author provided personal experiences to drive in his points. I included a few of the notes that I took while reading:
Our thoughts have been influenced by unhealthy experiences.
You connect to yourself by treating your mind better.
The desire to know your soul will end all other desires -
Feeding your soul is the action part of building a better relationship with yourself.
Non negotiables are the new standards that you’ve created for yourself that line up with your new story.
You connect to yourself by having a better relationship with your soul.
Growth can’t happen without new experiences.
Being single means taking your love lessons and grow.
The soil for growth is so rich when you’re single but only if you’re intentionally focusing on yourself.
Three things you need to have a life - joy, meaning and engagement.
Just because it feels familiar doesn’t mean it’s love.
Love becomes a process.
Old patterns and definitions keep us locked. Stop chasing old and welcome new.
Closure means making a decision to let go of their journey and focus on your own.
Everything ends and begins with what you believe about yourself. What you believe will determine where you will go and who you will become.
When you believe you are worth something the universe moves.
Worth isn’t something you believe. Worth is something that you build.
There is power and healing in understanding what has made you the way you are.
The book was so good that when I finished, I immediately joined his mailing list and subscribed to his daily text messages and for five dollars a month you also get an end-of-the-week journal prompt. It’s a good deal and something that I need right now.
Singleness is a journey.
Take it one day at a time.
What I’ve learned is that the more I focus on myself, the more that I love on me. Pour into me. Listen to my needs and wants – the happier I am with being single.
Love will find you when you least expect it.
In the meantime, get in your bag. Advance and upgrade your life as much as you can.
I highly encourage you to download or read this book, no matter what your relationship status is because it’s something to get out of it regardless if you’re alone or not.
Happy Reading and don’t forget to grab your copy here.
